To My Dear Brother Luzhong

 

Luzhong, my dear

No matter how, I could not accept,

Accept the fact that you have left us forever.

My hands are trembling, heart is bleeding.

How can you leave us behind?

My dear brother!

 

 

When heard you lost your life in another country,

I myself is far in another country,

Suddenly, this beautiful land became a living hell.

The sun has no more sunshine, the moon no more light,

The birds are crying, flowers are mourning.

We are only two brothers, how could I live without you?!

 

 

In utmost despair, I collected my simple luggage,

Putting your portrait on my chest,

The Nellans took me to the airport.

After days of blue sky,

The rain is pouring down like dogs and cats,

God in the heaven is giving his fake pity!

 

 

Meanwhile Mom and your sister-in-law

Are on their way to get you back from Thailand.

Years ago, Mom never agreed to go to stay with you,

To enjoy the happy life you return her,

Now, with tears pouring down from the eyes,

With blood pouring out from her heart

She dashed to fetch your cold remains!!

 

 

The plane cried into the black clouds,

Hovered into the blue sky.

I opened my eyes and soul wide and wide

In this universe in which corner I can find you,

Find your heroic bearing, your sweat smiles?!

Tears pouring, I choked with heart breaking

 

 

Do you remember,

The birds on the persimmon tree in our courtyard?

The wooden truck that dragged behind you years?

The village school that I carried you to go to?

The south mountain slope where you fed our pigs?

 

 

Do you remember,

Dads figure under the kerosene lamp?

Beads of sweat on Mons forehead?

The sweater knitted by your sister-in-law?

The fairy tale told by your little nephew?

 

 

So many bygones so much love,

All gone, all gone!!

 

 

Where are you? My darling, my baby!

Dont you know lots of responsibility waiting for you?

Dont you know lots of hopes are building on you?

You are the proud of our parents, the backbone of mine,

You are the idol of your nephew, the loyalful diplomat of China.

But now, you became the pang of all!

 

 

I could never imagine how our gray-headed Mon

Would see your cold remains for the last time,

I could never know how I should meet our Dad tomorrow!

I could never know how I tell your nephew where you gone,

I could never know how I inform the ones that love you so much?!

 

Luzhong, you are too cruel!

You put such a sharp knife into our hearts,

You let our hearts bleed for the rest of our lives!

I hate you, hate you for throwing old parents behind,

Hate you for leaving pangs to all your loved ones,

Hate you for leaving a never understanding miss to your nephew!

 

I dont know if this an accident or your fate?

If it is an accident, I would curse the heaven and the hell,

Curse them why so careless.

If it is your fate that you have to fellow,

I would thank you,

Thank you for accompanying me 30 years of ups and downs,

Thank you for let me see what an excellent man look like,

What is dutiful, what is faithful, what is a true son,

What is genius of the country..

 

 

No matter what, Luzhong, my brother!

You have gone for good!

Please dont worry about anything,

God will treat you as you have treated people here,

I would carry out all our family plans,

I would take care of our parents,

Let them enjoy their old years,

Let your nephew grow into a man like you!

 

 

It is dawn now, Im in a hotel in Seoul

The air company will fetch me soon,

They will take me back,

Back to take care of you,

Of your cold remains, of your holy soul.

Thousands of knives are cutting my heart

Tons of tears are pouring down,

Thousands and thousands of words,

Could never tell the true love of our 30 years of brothers!

 

Please rest in peace, my dear Luzhong!

 

 

He Lujiang

June 28, 2003

Seoul, South Korea

 

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